Now, let’s list behaviors that are considered uncivil:
-Rude & condescending comments, verbal or written.
-Interrupting a conversation.
-Rolling of the eyes.
-Checking your cell phone while someone is talking.
-Not recognizing, or taking credit for, someone else's idea/work.
-“Forgetting” to include a team member in a text/email/meeting.
-Speaking in a language someone in the room doesn't understand.
-“Jabs” that highlight someone's weakness.
-A temper tantrum.
Most of these acts of incivility are unintentional, & they fall into the second quadrant of the Johari Window: things that others know about you - that you don’t, AKA the “Blind Spot.”
But some leaders are clearly aware of their uncivil behavior. It is an expression of a power imbalance, lack of mutual respect, & most importantly a low self image- that causes them to maintain little or no respectable boundaries on how they treat others.
Before you think that I’m “holier-than-thou” I want to admit that I have been guilty of some of these behaviors over the years. I’m still not where I would like to be, but practicing mindfulness and embracing active-listening techniques has helped me evolve as a self-aware leader.
[Cont. in Chapter 4]